Have I mentioned lately how much I despise back to school time? I always find myself questioning everything, every single decision that has to be made. I feel like I have to make a flow chart to see if the decisions I’m making will work with decisions I might have to make further down the road.
It’s never-ending and I’m already tired, y’all. They’ve only been in school one full week and I’m ready for summer…again.
And to top it all off, they don’t need me anymore. They don’t WANT me to take them to and from school. They’d rather ride a stinky, non air-conditioned bus than ride with their mom. Even the baby. He happily walks down to the bus stop, not even holding my hand. With his backpack on his back, he walks in front of me, not once looking back to make sure I’m still there.
Don’t they know I need that! I need to know that I’m still needed in their lives. When did they become independent children?
I want my children to grow up to be independent adults, but right now, they are still my young children and I need them to need me. Why are they in such a hurry to grow up?
I made a little video where I just shared my feelings about my children wanting to ride the school bus. I know it is not the end of the world, but right now, it feels like it. My heart hurts.
If you’ve experienced something similar in the past or have experience raising independent children, I’d love to know how you made it through. Feel free to leave a comment below!
Jeannette says
Oh, I’m so with you! I sat in my car and cried the first day of school as I watched all the other parents walk their kids in after my son had told me he was too old for me to do the same. It’s hard watching them grow up and even harder when the are independant but it’s also nice to see them have the confidence to do things on their own – at least that’s what I keep telling myself!
Melissa says
Ah, my heart! HUGS Mama! My son just went into Kindergarten and so far he is okay with me bringing him to school and picking him up. I don’t think you embarrass them at all, I bet it’s just that they want to be with their friends and ride the bus, feel like big kids, etc.
Amber Edwards says
It is so hard letting go of the reigns and developing independent children. It is such a hard thing for me, because I want to be needed. But I also like not having to do everything for them too. And i know for them to grow up strong dnd face this world they live in, they need to be independent. But sometimes I’m just not ready to let them go.
Colleen says
I relish the fact that my children are independent, but in some respects I totally agree with you. What is weird is my 16 year old when I say love you and good bye he says the same before he gets out of the car. My 7 year old daughter on the other hand says nothing. It is ok I know she loves me but I still miss her not saying it when she hops out of the car.
Erika @Musings SAHM says
It’s so tough being a mom sometimes. I’ve had to learn to be more confident in myself and my choices as a mom. Still working on that really! 🙂
I homeschool and my kids are younger (my oldest is 10, youngest is 2) so I’m in a little different boat than you. But it still tugs at my heart when my 10 year old rushes off to karate practice without looking back or my 4 year old hops on the preschool bus without hesitation. We want them to be independent and confident but it’s hard as they need us less and less.
((HUGS)) 🙂
Jenn says
Hugs, Mama. It’s bittersweet when they gain independence. I’m tying to give Sweet T a choice about every little thing I can in order to help her be more independent as she grows.
Tammy says
Down the road you’ll realize this is an awesome thing. They don’t need you for the ‘small’ things (and that’s actually the way it should be), but they’ll still come to you with the big things. Our daughter was extremely independent as a child, her first day of Kindergarten she literally rolled her eyes at me and told me to leave the room. And now she’s 17 and I don’t have to worry about how she’ll do at dorm life next year, but I still know that when important things happen or big decisions need to be made, we’ll get the first phone call for advice.
Donna says
My son is 10 and he has a very independent nature, too. Although, there are times when he is very dependent on us. I believe like, Tammy says, it will be a trait we will be thankful for one day. And I can so relate to hating back-to-school time. This year has been especially hard on me. My son is in the 5th grade and I am already depressed thinking about him going into middle school next year. I don’t want my son going to a public middle school, so we need to check out other options, soon. Sigh. Btw, you have some beautiful kids!
Janet Dubac says
My baby is still young and thankfully I still have a few more years before I send her to school and set her out into the world. But I did have my share of “letting go” with my youngest brother. My parents needed to go abroad to work so at 21 I became a mom to our youngest sibling which was 11 at that time. He was very dependent as he was a sickly kid. I always considered him as my baby though. But when he reached sophomore, he started being independent and already went out with friends and needed me less. I dread the day when the same thing will happen to me with my little one. Well at least I had some practice with my younger brother. Thank you for this post and beautiful kids by the way 🙂
Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says
I’m a big crybaby about it all so I’m right there with you. Every tiny break or move of independence was hard on me!!! Hugs!
Penelope (NYC Blogger) says
I am reading through this, and I agree with it all…I have the same thought, doubts, worries…ugh, my son starts this Monday and I have so much to do, so much on my mind, and I feel scared and worried for some reason too (I know, I’m nuts, what is there to be nervous about??)
Mellisa says
My daughter did great the first week of school and then last week she cried almost everyday! Hoping it gets better.
Kira says
Sending you virtual hugs. Mine are still young so I’m glad they aren’t at that stage yet. Your kids growth is a testament of your handwork – you raised them right.
Ty @ Mama of 3 Munchkins says
Letting them grow up is the hardest thing to do! My kids wanted their independence very early on, and I admit, it hurt for awhile. I wish that I could turn back the time and start all over again, because I miss being needed, wanted and talked to. And yes, my kids barely talk to me anymore, unless they want something or need money to buy something. I’m gradually getting used to it, but it still hurts at times.
Angela says
Awww, I feel for you. It was so hard to let my son grow up and do things on his own. It’s so hard to not take it personally when they push us away.
Lisa says
First, love the school pics.
Second, my kids have never cried for me for school. They’ve always just waved and said see ya. I just tell myself I should be happy that they are comfortable enough with their school that they don’t even miss me.
LyndaS says
I love my children, but I am ready for them to be independent. I don’t know if it is my age, or what, but I am okay with it. I guess we just have those different stages that we all go through and I am ready to go on to the next.
Vanessa: thequeenofswag says
Wait until you get to the teen years. They act like they don’t even know you then. It’s very hard to see them grow up.
Tiff @ Babes and Kids says
I think it’s totally normal to feel insecurity as a mom. I don’t get the appeal of being on the bus too, but I think sometimes it makes them feel independent and they get to be with other kids. ((HUGS)) I hope the school year gets better for you.
courtney says
M is already pretty independent (as she can be for 1) but she surprises me every day. I’m dreading that I can do it all myself time.. 🙁
Emily says
I don’t look forward to this at all. My mom always tells me parenting is about roots and wings. Teaching them what you know will help them succeed in life and then letting them put it in practice, it’s hard!! Way harder than I thought, and I haven’t even sent one to kindergarten!
Marcie W. says
This was exactly me last year when my youngest was placed in an all day preschool class to help him progress on the autism spectrum. I was an absolute mess and only had two months to let the fact that I would be alone a year earlier than expected sink in. I cried the first few days and I felt lonely quite often. Eventually I found ways to occupy my time. My son did so well in that program that this year he was moved to a general ed half day Kindergarten. Now I am back to having only two hours a day to myself and honestly, I MISS my alone time!!
Lolo says
I hear you! It is crazy. My son tells me every morning, ” Mom, hurry up! I do not want to be late for my teacher!” Glad that he loves school and is getting more independent, but man, it happens too fast.
Shell Feis says
My son just started school for the first time two weeks ago, and even though I still bring him & it’s only for a few hours, it hurts that he’s growing up so fast already. So I can only imagine!
Tricia @ Night owl mama says
I think with each of my children I was the one who had the breakdown too. IT always made it easier when i had one at home that needed me. NOW they are all in school and I too want to know who needs me? HUGS I”m right there with you
Stefanie says
Oh yes. My daughter is 9 and she definitely wants to be more independent.. It’s sad for me, but I know she needs to do things on her own to build confidence.